Have you ever felt uncomfortable receiving—whether it’s a compliment, a helping hand, or even deep love and care? Do you find yourself brushing off offers of support, insisting, “I’ve got it,” even when you’re overwhelmed? If so, you’re not alone. The struggle to receive is a deeply ingrained wound for many women, one rooted in societal expectations, cultural conditioning, and personal experiences that have shaped our relationship with trust, softness, and self-worth.
Recently, I stumbled upon an old podcast episode of mine titled Receiving: The Feminine Struggle & How to Embrace Our Feminine. Listening back, I couldn’t help but cringe a little. You know that feeling when you revisit something you created years ago? It’s like hearing an old version of yourself—one that still had valuable insights but was missing key pieces. Perspectives change, we grow, we learn, and we evolve. That’s why I want to dive deeper into this topic today, expanding on what I’ve come to understand about the true art of receiving.
The Feminine Nature of Receiving
The feminine essence is naturally receptive. She is open, intuitive, nurturing, and deeply attuned to the rhythms of life. She creates and attracts rather than forces and chases (which are masculine traits). Her power lies not in constant striving, but in her ability to surrender, to trust, and to magnetize what is meant for her.
And yet, we have been conditioned to believe that receiving is passive (aka lazy), weak, or even selfish. We are taught that to be desirable, successful, or worthy, we must be endlessly productive—always giving, always doing, always proving our value and our worth through effort. Resting feels indulgent. Accepting help feels like failure. Slowing down feels like falling behind.
But the truth is, the more we disconnect from our receptive nature, the more depleted we become. When we over-give and over-function, we run on empty, pouring from a cup that is never refilled. True feminine energy doesn’t thrive in constant output—it flourishes when balanced with the ability to receive. Learning to receive is not just about ease; it’s about restoring our natural state of being.
The Modern Woman’s Dilemma: Overworked, Overgiving, and Disconnected from Receiving
As a result, many women today are burning out at alarming rates. Modern society is simply not designed for the feminine body. While men function on a 24-hour circadian rhythm, women operate on both the circadian and infradian rhythms, as highlighted by Alisa Vitti in her groundbreaking work on hormonal health.
The infradian rhythm governs our monthly cycle, affecting everything from energy levels to metabolism, brain function, and even emotions. Yet, we live in a culture that pushes women to ignore these natural fluctuations and instead conform to a rigid, masculine-driven structure of work and productivity. We are expected to perform at the same intensity every single day—despite our bodies signaling the need for ebb and flow, rest and renewal. (More on this in the next section—btw, I highly recommend Alisa Vitti’s books and work; they were total game changers for me!)
At the same time, the rise of the ‘Boss Babe’ era and the pressures of modern feminism have encouraged women to step more fully into their masculine energy—to achieve, provide, and compete. And while independence is empowering, and we all have both masculine and feminine energies within us, the cost of being predominantly in our masculine energy has been steep.
Many women find themselves exhausted, overworked, burnt out, resentful, and completely disconnected from their intuition, relationships, and even their own bodies. Autoimmune disorders, infertility, anxiety, depression, and other stress-related illnesses are on the rise. And yet, we keep pushing forward, believing that our worth is measured by how much we do and how much we give—wondering why we still feel so unfulfilled.
So, let’s dive a bit deeper into Alisa Vitti’s work, because discovering her research was a game-changer for me. It helped me understand my body on a whole new level—the natural rhythms I go through as a woman, why I was feeling the way I was, and how to work with my body instead of constantly fighting against it.
The Forgotten Rhythms of Womanhood: Understanding Our Biological Blueprint
As we have already explored, modern society operates on a 24-hour schedule—early mornings, long workdays, and a relentless expectation to produce, achieve, and perform at the same intensity every single day. But here’s the thing: this structure was never designed with women in mind.
Hormonal expert Alisa Vitti, author of WomanCode and In the FLO, reveals that while men operate solely on the circadian rhythm, women function on both the circadian and infradian rhythm—a roughly 28-day cycle that influences everything from energy levels and metabolism to cognitive function, emotions, and stress resilience.
Each phase of the infradian rhythm brings different strengths and needs. And it is my wish that every woman knows about those four phases of the female cycle:
- Follicular Phase (Spring Energy) – Creativity, motivation, and new beginnings thrive here. The brain favors analytical thinking, and metabolism is steady, making it a great time for planning and starting new projects.
- Ovulatory Phase (Summer Energy) – Confidence, communication, and social interactions peak. Estrogen is at its highest, making this the best time for public speaking, networking, and taking bold action.
- Luteal Phase (Autumn Energy) – While at the beginning the body has still a lot of energy, later during the longest phase of the cycle, the body slowly craves rest, deep focus, and completion. This is a great time for wrapping up tasks and leaning into introspection. Ignoring the body’s need for slower movement can lead to burnout.
- Menstrual Phase (Winter Energy) – The body asks for rest, reflection, and renewal. It’s the bleeding time. Intuition is heightened, and deep inner work happens naturally. When honored, this phase restores energy for the next cycle.
But the problem is: our world is built for men’s biology, not women’s. It’s structured around the circadian rhythm, which operates on a 24-hour cycle, making it easy for men to wake up with stable testosterone levels, perform at peak energy during the day, and wind down at night without dramatic hormonal shifts. Women, on the other hand, experience daily, weekly, and monthly fluctuations that are completely ignored by modern work culture, fitness regimens, and societal expectations.
So what happens when we force ourselves to work, eat, and exercise like men? Right, chronic fatigue, hormonal imbalances, mood swings, burnout, infertility, anxiety, and even autoimmune conditions. The more we disconnect from our natural flow, the harder it becomes to receive—whether it’s rest, nourishment, or emotional support.
Relearning how to honor these rhythms isn’t just about better health; it’s about reclaiming our right to move through life in a way that nurtures, rather than depletes, us.
But let’s be real—unlearning the belief that we have to push through exhaustion to be worthy isn’t easy. I get it. We have jobs to work, bills to pay, families to take care of, and a million responsibilities pulling at us. Shifting out of the old paradigm takes time. It takes trust. It takes self-permission. And that’s where true receiving begins.
Trust: The Missing Piece to Receiving
At the heart of receiving is trust—trust in ourselves, trust in others, trust in life itself. Without trust, receiving feels unsafe. It feels like losing control, like surrendering to the unknown. And for many women, that’s terrifying—deeply, viscerally terrifying.
Trusting means believing that you are worthy of receiving—that love, rest, and support are not things you have to earn through over-giving or over-functioning. It means knowing that your softness is not a weakness but a strength. It means allowing others to show up for you without guilt, without resistance, without the urge to immediately give back just to feel deserving.
But how do we lean into trust when we’ve spent years—or even lifetimes—resisting it? When our nervous system is wired to believe that letting go means losing control?
I promise I won’t leave you hanging here. In a bit, we’ll dive into practical ways to rebuild trust—in yourself, in your body, and in life itself. But it takes time. It’s not a quick fix.
But before we get there, let’s take a moment to revisit something we’ve already touched on which is self-worth. Because, at its core, trust and receiving start with believing you are worthy of it.
Self-Worth: The Core of Receiving
At its core, the ability to receive is deeply tied to self-worth. If we don’t believe we are worthy of love, care, rest, and abundance, we will unconsciously block it from coming into our lives. Many women have been conditioned to believe that their value comes from what they give, do, and achieve—rather than from simply being who they are. This is truly sad, and it creates a cycle of overgiving and depletion, where receiving feels foreign, even undeserved. It’s heartbreaking.
To truly receive, a woman must embrace the truth that she is enough as she is. She does not need to prove her worth through sacrifice. She does not need to earn love by overextending herself. She is inherently deserving of care, pleasure, and support simply because she exists. Reclaiming this truth is a radical act of self-love and empowerment, and it is a journey that doesn’t happen over night.
The Dance of Masculine & Feminine Energy in Relationships
In relationships, the dynamic between masculine and feminine energy plays out in a way that is both beautiful and deeply transformative. The feminine thrives in an environment of safety, trust, and presence. When a woman feels cherished, seen, and supported, she can relax into her natural essence—receptive, radiant, and deeply intuitive.
This isn’t about traditional gender roles—it’s about energetic harmony. The masculine energy (which can be embodied by both genders) is structured, protective, and purpose-driven. It creates a container, a sense of direction and presence. The feminine energy, on the other hand, is flowing, intuitive, and expansive. She brings life, creativity, and deep emotional wisdom into the connection.
But here’s where modern relationships get tricky:
Many women today, especially those with anxious attachment styles, struggle to feel safe enough to lean into their feminine energy. If safety was absent in childhood or past relationships, receiving love and support can feel foreign—or even threatening. Instead, there’s a tendency to over-give, over-function, or control, all in an attempt to secure love.
In my latest blog post, Anxious Attachment, Love & Safety, I dive deeper into how attachment wounds influence our ability to trust, receive, and truly let love in. (If this resonates, I highly recommend reading it!) Similarly, in Yes, You Can Have Healthy Relationships and Still Heal, I explore how relationships can be a safe space for healing rather than a battlefield for survival.
When a woman feels safe, her entire nervous system shifts. She no longer operates from a place of fear, hyper-independence, or over-functioning. Instead, she can trust, surrender, and allow love to flow without the need to control or chase it.
And this is where true polarity happens.
When the masculine shows up with presence and consistency, the feminine can relax, soften, and truly receive. This is not passivity in the negative sense, but an active choice to trust and lean into the natural rhythm of love—one where both energies nourish and support each other.
At the core of it all?
The more a woman allows herself to receive, the more she reconnects with her natural essence. And in doing so, she not only transforms her relationships but also the way she moves through the world.
Practical Ways to Embrace Receiving
If receiving feels difficult or challenging, here are some ways to begin practicing it in your daily life. I’m not re-inventing the wheel here, you know about these simple things we can do for our wellbeing, but this serves as a little reminder because we tend to forget:
- Breathwork: Simply taking two minutes to focus on your breath can calm the nervous system, signaling to your body that it is safe to receive.
- Dancing: Moving your hips, engaging in sensual or tribal dance, or simply letting yourself flow with music can activate feminine energy.
- Nature Connection: Spending time outdoors, walking barefoot, and observing nature’s effortless way of receiving can be a powerful reminder of your own innate receptivity.
- Play: Engaging in joyful, playful activities without an agenda allows you to receive pleasure without feeling the need to earn it.
- Practice Saying “Yes” to Help: The next time someone offers support, pause before automatically saying, “I’ve got it.” Instead, try accepting it with gratitude.
One of the most profound ways to cultivate receptivity is through self-care. When you prioritize nurturing yourself, you reinforce the belief that you deserve to receive love, rest, and support. I’ve written about this in my blog post The Top 9 Self-Care Rituals for Women to Relax the Nervous System for More Confidence—if you’re looking for more ways to soften into your feminine, I highly recommend giving it a read!
Let’s Make This Clear
Reclaiming the art of receiving is not about rejecting the masculine or abandoning ambition—it’s about restoring balance. It’s about remembering that your worth is not measured by how much you do, how much you give, or how many roles you juggle. You are worthy simply because you exist.
For too long, we’ve been conditioned to believe that receiving is weak, that slowing down is lazy, that allowing ourselves to be supported means we are failing. But what if the opposite were true? What if allowing ourselves to receive—love, rest, nourishment, care—is the very thing that makes us more whole?
When we trust ourselves, honor our natural rhythms, and embrace our feminine energy, we stop fighting against life. We stop proving and start being. We shift from force to flow, from depletion to deep replenishment, from doing to allowing. And in that space, something magical happens—we open ourselves to a life that truly supports us, rather than one we have to constantly push against.
So, take a deep breath. Place a hand on your heart. Feel the fullness of your presence.
You don’t have to earn rest. You don’t have to prove your worth.
You are already enough.
Now, soften. Open.
And receive.
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